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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816852">that time luffy consumed an inhuman amount of thc</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingLetters/pseuds/LovingLetters'>LovingLetters</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drugs, Gen, Implied Relationships, Marijuana, Other, Recreational Drug Use, a whole buncha characters are mentioned but I am NOT listing all of them., crocodile is absolutely some sector of lgbt, heavily., lgbt themes baby, like. in your face. flat out. you know it., not tagging relationships bc they're not important, pirates are gay, sanji and zoro have both had relations with ace while they were in alabasta, there are others I can't remember, wow i didn't even know there was a tag for that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:27:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovingLetters/pseuds/LovingLetters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>tldr: luffy eats an entire batch of pot brownies while unsupervised. chaotic shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>that time luffy consumed an inhuman amount of thc</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>    “Brownies are done, everyone- just wait a bit for them to cool off.” Sanji called, walking out of the kitchen and onto the upper deck of the Thousand Sunny. The sea had been kind in the past few days, with very little issue other than the occasional minor threat of beasts lying beneath the waters. Hell, even the rain wasn’t bad; no downpour or lack thereof- perfectly ideal. Sanji wiped his hands on the towel he had previously slung over his forearm, stuffing it in the pocket opposite of his cigarettes and lighter.<br/>
    “Over here, Sanji!” Robin responded, lifting her hand to wave him to where she, Nami, Usopp, and Franky were enjoying the pleasant weather. Robin had previously been fingering through a book she picked up at the most recent island, while Nami, Usopp, and Franky made smalltalk amongst themselves as they lied in wait for the raw, unconcentrated enjoyment soon to come. The cook smiled.<br/>
    “Right away, Miss Robin my dearest darli-,” Sanji’s voice was cut off, as was his path. His foot hit a napping Zoro, stationed against the wall not 10 feet from the door. Sanji looked down with subtle annoyance. Instead of stepping over the snoozing swordsman like a decent human being, he decided to nudge him with his shoe. A gentle kick, like moving a really big dog from being in front of the fridge. Zoro snored. Sanji tsked. As if all the peace in the world vanished, the scowl on the cook’s face grew noticeable. Shuffling the tip of his shoe under Zoro’s thigh, Sanji managed to flip the heavy sleeper so his face hit the floor with a thud. A loud groan of pain and irritability sounded from Zoro’s mouth like a hurricane siren.<br/>
    “God, WHAT.” He lifted himself from the hard wooden flooring, turning his head to glare at the blond.<br/>
    “Oh, did I wake you? You shouldn’t be sleeping there anyway.”<br/>
    “Bitch.”<br/>
    “Whore.”<br/>
    “Who are you calling whore, you whore?”<br/>
    “Methinks I’ll kill you, you fucking idiot.”<br/>
    “Please speak real words, you stupid fancy eyebrow Frenchman.”<br/>
    “What’s a Frenchman?”<br/>
    “I don’t know, but it feels right to say it to you as an insult.”<br/>
    “Fucking- ANYWAY,” Sanji flailed his hands with dismissive irritation. “I finished the brownies. They should be cool in a few.” He stepped over Zoro’s legs with a scoff, making his way down the stairs onto the Sunny’s lawn where the others were, pulling his cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket on his way down. Begrudgingly, Zoro groggily fumbled to stand, following Sanji to where the others had begun to congregate, with Chopper and Brook added to the mix as well.<br/>
    “Chopper, if you’re a doctor and stuff, why don’t you have an issue with, you know, the Devil’s Lettuce, the marajawanas, the kush, the mary-jane, the good green stuff, the-” Franky had more names, but was stopped by a hoof to his mouth.<br/>
    “I know what weed is, Franky. Medical marijuana exists. How do you think Doctorine stays so calm all the time?” Chopper huffed, rubbing his little reindeer head with the hoof not being used to cover Franky’s mouth. Nami giggled.<br/>
    “But you’re just a baby! You can’t know about pot yet. Not allowed!” Nami stood from her lounge chair to grab Chopper from Franky, lifting him into a tight hug. “You are baby.”<br/>
    “I am NOT baby. I’ve got a WHOLE bounty.”<br/>
    “Yeah, a baby bounty. Everyone who thinks Chopper is baby, say ‘aye’.” Not one person, cyborg, or skeleton did not say ‘aye’. Shenanigans ensue.<br/>
    An hour passes. General fun and smalltalk amongst the crew was had with little to no bumpiness. For all intents and purposes, the brownies were almost forgotten.<br/>
    “Where’s Luffy, anyway? I haven’t seen him in a while.” Usopp looked around for an answer. Each other member of the crew shrugged, some more worried than others. A seed of panic grew in Usopp’s gut. “Oh my god, did we lose him? Did he fall off the boat without us noticing!?” Nami hushed him, patting his back with a comforting hand.<br/>
    “Don’t worry, he’s probably asleep or something. If he fell off the boat he would have screamed. We all know that.”<br/>
    “You’re completely right. I almost thought we had something to worry about. I really need to relax...” Usopp rubbed the back of his head with his hand, stopping himself from going into cardiac arrest at nineteen.<br/>
    “Speaking of relaxing,” Franky piped up. “Shouldn’t the brownies be nice and cooled off by now? It’s been quite a bit.”<br/>
    “Shit! I completely forgot!” Sanji briskly strode toward and up the stairs, turning the kitchen door handle. Wait. That shouldn’t be right. Sanji’s eyes widened with an immediate anxiousness. His palms began to sweat as his hands trembled, slowly turning around to the group on the other side of the boat with a look in his eye that would make even the calmest person worry about his situation.<br/>
    “You okay, Sanji?” Nami yelled from across the deck. “What happened?”<br/>
    “I didn’t lock the door.” Sanji’s face grew unnaturally pale.<br/>
    “What?” Chopper responded in worry.<br/>
    “I didn’t,” He gulped, “lock the kitchen door.” The dread in his voice carried for miles. He gripped the handle, afraid of the possibility of what was on the other side. He pressed his ear up to the door, the window covered by the small curtain he had Usopp install on the inside months ago. There was no sound coming from the inside. The rest of the Straw Hats verbally pressured Sanji, convincing him to open the door, with all of them eventually surrounding it out of sheer curiosity and shared worry.<br/>
    “Just open it! Like I said, Luffy’s probably asleep in the dorms.” Nami shook Sanji’s arm, pushing the door open in the process. Peering in, nothing seemed wrong- that was until the small buffet of munchie snacks was observed. Almost half of it was completely gone, crumbs and the like scattered across the table, chairs, and floor. This seemed to be the worst of the issue- that was until the crew looked ever so slightly to the left.<br/>
    Propped up against a lower cabinet, sprawled out across the floor, lied the captain of the ship; he wasn’t asleep by any means- he was staring into nothingness, mouth slightly agape, his face arranged to display slight discomfort mixed with elevator music. There was absolutely nothing in that empty head of his. If somebody slapped him, it would be a 50/50 shot if he could even feel it, or if he would feel it as if the universe decked him with a chancla. After a solid minute of other people being in the room with him, he notices their presences. His lower eyelids squint up carefully as his mouth pushes up and curls into a flat line on his face. The spot he had chosen could NOT have been comfortable.<br/>
    “Luffy? Luffy what did you d-” Zoro asked him before being hit in the chest with a hard fist. “I’m kicked AND hit today? By my own crewmates? I thought what we had was spe-”<br/>
    “LOOK AT THE GODDAMN BROWNIE TIN.” Nami stated, her voice cracking in the middle of ‘brownie’. She pointed so hard in the direction of where Sanji had put the brownies that her arm could have dislocated if she had tried even slightly harder than she did.<br/>
    Zoro and the others who had not yet seen the baking pan followed the direction of her quivering finger to its location. The entire pan was empty. Not a single crumb was left. The bottom had been licked completely clean, just as if it had been put in a dishwasher. However, dishwashers might or might not exist yet, so that’s irrelevant.<br/>
    “Holy shit.” Franky uttered as he put his giant robot hands up to his temple, which was actually his whole head because of the sheer size of his metal fingers. Epic. Brook grabbed at his hair as if it were to turn grey and fall out, which many were still surprised that it hadn’t. Stress is very bad for skeletons who have already had to endure enough stress during their time as a living human.<br/>
    “Hi Zoro,” Luffy greeted, very, very late. He tried to smile, but it looked pained and, frankly, a little silly.<br/>
    “Sanji, how many grams did you put in?” Robin asked, unphased by the current situation as she expected it to happen at some point. This wasn’t her first edible rodeo. Sanji answered without as much as looking at her in the eyes.<br/>
    “Seven.”<br/>
    “Oh my.”<br/>
    “So that’s anywhere between SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED MILLIGRAMS OF THC.” Chopper’s little voice rose in volume and pitch as his sentence continued. The little reindeer pushed up the brim of his hat as if it were hair in distress. “He’s either going to DIE-”<br/>
    “Or be in one hell of a trip for quite a bit.” Zoro crossed his arms, bending at the waist slightly just to tower over Luffy’s comfortably uncomfortable figure. Zoro had been with Luffy the longest; it was unlikely that something as comparatively weak as quite a bit too much THC would kill the future Pirate King. It would be quite a sucky gravestone. Yeah sure, Ace and Whitebeard get cool ones commemorating the Marineford event, and Luffy gets… ‘ate weed brownies and game overed’. Not exactly ideal.<br/>
    “Oh, hi Sanji.” Luffy turned his head to look at him as if he had magically appeared in front of him in a puff of purple glittery smoke from a genie lamp. “Are you supposed to eat the whole brownie?” No one was actually sure if Luffy could see Sanji with how squinted his eyes were. He truly did look at Sanji as if he were looking at the sun.<br/>
    “The whole brownie?” he laughed, just a little. “THE WHOLE BROWNIE!?” he lost it. “You fucking BUFFOON you ATE THE ENTIRE PAN.” Sanji gripped at the sides of his pseudo-bowlcut as if he were to rip clumps of hair from his head. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘THE WHOLE BROWNIE????’” That was probably too many questions. Too many words for Luffy’s little baby brain at the moment. Little smooth brain. The weed smoothed his smoothbrain even smoother. Like a puree. Or a shiny rock you’d give to your mom from the neighbor’s rock garden when you were five.<br/>
    “Thirsty,” Luffy wobbled as he tried to stand, clearly uncomfortable. He had completely missed Sanji’s babyrage rant, or it just hadn’t registered yet. Or both. Likely both. “I feel like my mouth is sand but without the sand in it. Dry. That’s the word. I got it. Dry.” Luffy talked to himself as he tried to make his way over to the fridge for some cold water. He stared at the lock. It seemed to stare back. He grabbed the handle of the fridge and tried to open it, still staring at the lock as if it were to run and hide if he didn’t keep an eye on it. The door, obviously, didn’t budge. He continued to stare at the lock, and the lock stared back with pity. His mouth fell slightly open again, looking way too much like a fried-brain version of that one picture of Lisa Simpson where she’s staring at an empty plate.<br/>
    “Sanji, for the love of god, please just- open the door for him. He’s pathetic in this state.” Usopp tugged on Sanji’s sleeve, looking at him with puppydog eyes. Sanji glanced at Usopp’s pleaing face. He stuck out his lower lip in a pout. It was true, Luffy was truly pathetic as he continued to attempt opening the locked fridge, not comprehending that the lock he was staring at was the reason why he couldn’t open it, or that he knew it was the reason, and thought that looking at it hard or long enough would make it disappear. Sanji sighed, and flipped his bang to the exact same position it had been in previously.<br/>
    “Fine. But only because I feel sorry for him.”<br/>
    Sanji walked to the lock on the fridge, carefully moving Luffy away with a gentle hand, completely unlike how he had treated Zoro an hour ago. Bringing out the key from his coat pocket, he unlocked the fridge and brought out a plethora of drinks. Water, cold teas, and fresh fruit juices were then placed on the countertop for Luffy to cope with his excessive high.<br/>
    Soon enough, almost a gallon of drinks had been consumed by the man with the munchies himself. After grabbing a big enough container and filling it with a substantial amount of water, he walked to the long couch on the other side of the dining area and just… sat. He didn’t look any more comfortable than he was while sitting on the floor. The rest of his crew could only worry, and tend to his weed-needs.<br/>
    “So. How did you… eat all of that?” Robin asked, similarly to how a psychiatrist would. The couch, the gentle tone of voice; the only thing missing was the clipboard and pen. Luffy needed a minute to process what was said; it felt like ten minutes, but it was only a little bit.<br/>
    “I was napping. I woke up… to brownie smell. Great smell by th’ way Sanji. Thank you for the smell. And the brownies. Brownie. Does it count as one brownie if you don’t cut it into little brownies? Is a big brownie just called a brown? I think it should be called a brown. Anyway. I smelled the brownie. I sought out the brownie. I ate the brownie. After a little, I got hungry- like. Really hungry. You know. You know how it is.” He kept talking. It was like he had even less of a filter than usual. His words were slow, sometimes slurred, and he repeated certain words if he thought he pronounced them a little funny. He continued. “So I got hungry. I saw all that food. God, there was so much food. No meat, but still great.” Robin nodded like he was giving her his autobiography, telling her about his entire life story. “Then I ate the food. But after eating some of it I just felt really… bad? Like. Unexplainably bad. It just did not feel as good as it did a minute ago. So I just sat on the floor, and then you guys found me!” He took a sip of water. Robin clasped her hands and contorted her face to somewhere between understanding and slight pity; Nami furrowed her eyebrows and pinched her nose, as did Chopper.<br/>
    “Jesus Christ, Luffy.” Zoro spat out, “How do you feel?” He sat next to the edible eater like he was sitting next to a skittish cat.<br/>
    “Bad.” Luffy stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Also cold. And like my brain could beat up people.”<br/>
    “Chopper, could you get Mr. Luffy a blanket?” Brook whispered to the reindeer, to which he complied and ran to the boys dorm to get a blanket and a sweater.<br/>
    “What do you mean by ‘beat up people’?” Robin pressed her hands with fingers pressed against each other up to her mouth, tilting her eyebrows up slightly. To be honest, nobody understood what he meant by that. Nobody actually comprehended half of the things he said while under the Weed™, but this time it was a real doozy. He planted his feet on the floor sturdily, as if the boat was going to flip over suddenly. His head swayed with nonexistent wind, and Zoro prepared to catch and or restrain him if he fell over or flung himself. Luffy sat up, careful not to make himself experience so much pain that he’d acknowledge it in his mental state. Brook leaned against one of the chairs of the dining table, deciding to sit in it backwards- straddling it.<br/>
    “My brain… feels so big. It’s huge. I feel like I can do anything. But also not. My brain is too big for my body.” He explained. “I’m having a terrible time.”<br/>
    Sanji and Zoro held in laughter as best as they could. It’s not like Luffy would really catch it anyway. It’s not like Luffy hadn’t been around the good old MJ, but he definitely had never had enough to sedate 3 cows. Sanji and Zoro teetered from worry to amusement, constantly switching from the two; they wondered if their captain would emerge from his pot chrysalis as a new person with an entirely new identity and state of mind, or if he would do as he frequently did, and ask to ‘do that again’. Oh, woe is the crew that carries their captain.<br/>
    “Words are so cool. We just make noises with our mouths and everybody knows exactly what those noises mean. That’s so cool. I love words.” Luffy held his water to his chest like a little old lady would hold her cup of tea. He just kept talking, and talking, and talking. Blabbering on about every thought in his head. Some of it might have sounded deep to the easily influenced, but in reality, it was just Luffy but unhinged ever so slightly. “Everything hurts.”<br/>
Chopper entered the room with the blankets, announcing his presence and handing Zoro the big sweater to help Luffy put on. After being bundled up, Luffy now looked the part of being a little old lady with her cup of tea. Except he was just a very high teenager with some water in a container that would be too big for a little old lady to handle.<br/>
    “My body feels like… like a big rubber band. But made up of little rubber bands. Lots of rubber bands.” Luffy’s eyes squinted further again- they had been slightly more open for the past few rambles. God, he must have felt like Kepler putting together his laws of planetary motion. “There are so many rubber bands.”<br/>
    “Well, Luffy, you are rubber.” Chopper patted the rubber band man’s blanket and sweater-covered arm, careful not to hurt him in any way, shape, or form. In all reality, most of the crew expected this to happen. The surprise was only with the pure catatonic behavior Luffy exhibited.<br/>
    “I AM rubber… that’s so fucked up, right? Like. I just ate a bad tasting fruit when I was a kid and now I’m a pirate who the government wants dead. Isn’t that wacky? My body feels like pain.” He showed signs of extreme discomfort with even the softest spot on the couch, covered with the softest sweater and blanket the ship carried. His nose scrunched in discontent as he shuffled underneath the pile of warmth, still cold and trying to find some semblance of comfort in his painful experience.<br/>
    “What kind of pain, buddy?” Franky sat on the floor, enthralled with the current situation.<br/>
    “Like… like little men are kicking me on all of my pores. It’s definitely a pain. Like the time I got the little scar on my face,” he mumbled, evolving into somewhat coherent words by the end.<br/>
    “How did you get that scar anyway? I don’t remember if you told us.” Franky used the little hand inside his bigger hand to prop up his triple pronged chin. To be completely honest, he assumed it was from some cool battle before he got yoinked onto this boat back in Water 7.<br/>
    “I stabbed myself when I was a kid to show I was a man.” Luffy says, as if it was the most matter-of-fact thing in the world. “But now it’s kinda sexy- not gonna lie.” He lifted his elbows up, trying to find comfort in feeling like all those little imaginary men were kicking slash stabbing his skin. Cue laughter amongst friends. Zoro puts his arm over the couch backing behind Luffy, bending over like a conspiracy theorist.<br/>
    “It’s true: scars are incredibly sexy. Ace thought so, too.” Zoro’s words hit Luffy like a ton of bricks, causing more mental anguish than he was already going through- even if it was pretty delayed. Before he could respond, more giggling and snickering occurred between Nami, Sanji, and Usopp, who all knew what Zoro meant.<br/>
    “Wh- whaddya mean? What.” Luffy looked on into the space past Zoro’s general direction, bringing his water up defensively. Finding discomfort in even moving his neck, he faced forward again, peering into his water like it’d tell him the answers to everything.<br/>
    “Before we got to Alabasta, remember? He camped with us. At some point, he found me and saw I had scars on my ankles. Told me they were hot. Your brother was one hell of a guy.” The room was silent and incredibly tense. Zoro grinned genuinely, glancing at Luffy to see his late reaction in full.<br/>
    Zoro’s words got to Luffy’s little smoothbrain after a little bit, but once they did, the gears started turning. The cogs were moving. Everything started to make sense. He could practically feel his brain cells jittering. Fucking brain blast. His eyes shot open with the revelation of a lifetime. Luffy turned to Zoro faster than he had made any other motion in his entire time being in the brownie’s grasp. He gasped, clenching the cup of water like how a Bible Belt Baby Boomer would clasp their rosary in the presence of a teen with bright dyed hair and a few more piercings than deemed acceptable by the Jesus Book.<br/>
    “Zoro…” Luffy mumbled, his brain blast giving him information he really, really didn’t want. “Zoro did you fuck my brother!?!?”<br/>
    The tension broke; the entire room erupted in laughter. Nami and Usopp clung to each other, practically screaming with laughter following after. Robin even laughed heartily, carrying on because of Chopper’s expression mirroring Luffy’s: mortified. If anyone had been close to the boat, they definitely heard the commotion from a ways away. While the walls weren’t thin by any means, they definitely weren’t thick enough to handle all but two members of a fairly loud crew guffawing at such a genuine statement. It was so full of raw feeling. There might have even been a hint of betrayal, but more utter shock than anything. Zoro slapped the wall where the sofa was, cackling like a madman. He wheezed in order to stop, just so he could respond to his captain’s desperate question that might or might not have made his entire perception of the world explode before him.<br/>
    “No, no,” Zoro said between chuckling wheezes and a wet cough. “I didn’t fuck your brother, Luffy. He only kissed me a few times. Y’know. Like a true bro. A homie, if you will.” Zoro wiped his eye of a tear that had formed while he bust his gut laughing. “A couple kisses between homies. That’s not gay.” he coughed again. “Well… ” He cocked his head to the side, returning to giggling, himself. Others were still having trouble containing themselves, all while Luffy and Chopper stared wide-eyed into forever. Sanji cleared his throat after sighing to make himself stop laughing.<br/>
    “I also kissed Ace. On the Merry.” Sanji’s voice was still a little wobbly from laughing so hard. “I don’t think it was very no-homo, though.”<br/>
    If Luffy had the brain cells to be able to put down his water and put his head in his hands without hurting himself somehow, he would have done it by now. His gaze shifted to Sanji, looking at him as if he had killed god himself. It’s not that Ace being a little bit fruity bothered him, because he, too, was not exactly heterosexual, to say the least. In fact, he knew because, well, modern pirate culture isn’t exactly made for the straights. Look at Law. Look at DOFLAMINGO. None of these bitches is het. Anyway. What shocked poor Luffy the most was the fact that his brother, rest his soul, hit on AND made moves on TWO of his crew members without him even knowing. Within like, an afternoon and a single night. Absorbing what Sanji said, Luffy let one word escape his mouth.<br/>
    “How.”<br/>
    Another explosion of cackling from all parties. God fuck. Not a single soul didn’t mimic the exact fashion he said it. Like a little Victorian child asking why his father took him out to the back of the barn with nothing but a shotgun and a shovel.<br/>
    “I know I’m shaking ‘cause I ate the brownie but I think I’d still be shaking if you told me that when I wasn’t brownie’d.” Luffy’s grip on the cup got tighter and tighter, because, even if it felt absolutely awful to touch literally anything, it was better than feeling like he was full of jumping beans. “If you touch me, I think I’ll turn into mash potatoes.” He took a final sip of what was left of the water before standing up and letting the blanket fall off his shoulders. It was time to move from hotdog to hamburger. Hell yeah. That’s right. Time to lay the fuck down because that shit hurt. “My comfort in every single way has gone poof.” He set the cup on the floor and put himself into the little mound the blanket made. Portrait mode to landscape mode. Fuck yes. Discomfort still reigned.<br/>
    “I mean, it does make sense for Ace to swing for the other team. He’s literally flaming.” Nami smirked at her own joke, pulling a reaction from Usopp that made it worth it.<br/>
    “I don’t think anybody I know or care about is straight,” Luffy stated matter-of-factly. His eyes squinted again as he continued to sink into the blanket and sofa, becoming mush in the process. “Also I feel dizzy enough to vomit but I’m too dizzy to vomit, y’know?” Robin hushed him, telling him that if he needed to throw up, he had every right to use the kitchen sink(much to Sanji’s dismay).<br/>
    “What about Crocodile? He had that homophobic aura to him.” Nami made a fist and plopped her chin down to rest on it. Luffy took a second, formulated his words as best as he could, and turned to her- eyes squinted again, finally.<br/>
    “Saw him at the big jail place. No way that man doesn’t like men too.”<br/>
    “I can also concur in that notion.” Robin moved her arms into a ‘what can you do’ form. “He absolutely found Mister One attractive. He told me firsthand.” Luffy blew air out of his nose before laughing as much as his state would let him, which wasn’t a lot.<br/>
    “I think he and Ivankov were something at some point. There was totally that energy in the room.”<br/>
    “Very likely. Almost certain Ivankov could pull it off.” Robin covered her mouth slightly, relieved of a little bit of worry now that Luffy was reacting to things a little bit faster. That’d probably change soon, but since the sun was going down, it wouldn’t really be that big of an issue, unless someone were to attack right then and there.<br/>
    Another hour was spent with the other crew members having Luffy entertain the thought of every single pirate adversary and ally being some breed of LGBT. Buggy? Absolutely. Clowns are for the gays. Clowncore is just the pride but slightly to the left. Rayleigh? You bet your beans he had feelings for the greatest pirate to ever live. He might have a wife but that doesn’t mean he had no room in his heart for his captain. Luffy spent two years training with this man- they had to open up to each other about everything at some point. Absolutely no possibility in hell that even half of the Charlottes were straight. The only people Luffy could think of (or remember) being even remotely heterosexual were Enel, Vander Decken, Judge, and Caribou. The rest, everyone either forgot or decided not to mention because it’d be too obvious of an answer. More conversational shenanigans, as this little group does seem to bring on, ensue.<br/>
    Despite Luffy appearing to be very, very tired and all bundled up, there was exactly no chance of him falling asleep. For the most part, everyone tried to keep Luffy from experiencing even more pain. He did, eventually, vomit. But it was outside, over the boat, and Zoro had to keep watch in case he needed to be fished from the water. It did alleviate a little bit of the pain he was in, but boy howdy did it bring him back to an abnormal normality. While the rest of his crew mostly forgot about the food on the table out of worry, Luffy decided that it would be an excellent idea to just… consume every single morsel within a span of three minutes.<br/>
    “I think I could throw up again but I wont. If I do, no I didn’t. Yes I will not. Red heart emoji.” Luffy wiped his hands on his pants, because he’s just like that. Nobody batted an eye, because if they did, they knew it would be hopeless to change the way he is.<br/>
    “I don’t know what an emoji is but I’ll drink to that, bro.” Zoro said, raising the alcohol bottle that he’d gotten from the storage closet. Sanji eventually kicked everyone out of the kitchen so he could make dinner, therefore metaphorically kicking Luffy to the lawn so the munchies wouldn’t mix too terribly with food preparation. Luffy knocked on the door to the kitchen, finding it to be locked, unlike it had been previously.<br/>
    “I told you no.” Sanji creaked open the door, peering out with his single useful eye. Stupid fucking bang. His depth perception was awful due to it. However, fashion was the most important, even if it wasn’t good. Vive la France I guess. France doesn’t exist.<br/>
    “Ok but consider this: I am incredibly hungry and you have defiled my brother. Also you are the sole purpose of me being hungry. You made the brownies, Sanji. You did that. You caused me pain.” Luffy tried to explain his point as best as his baby size brain would let him.<br/>
    “Absolutely not! I do not regret any of my decisions regarding you or your brother. His giant forehead did make for a lot of extra ground for kiss-”<br/>
    “I’m not hungry anymore,” Luffy lied.</p><p>    Legends say he still rode that high for almost a week. Zoro was right: what might have killed an average person was no match for the future Pirate King.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi everyone ! this is definitely not the style of writing I normally do, but I felt like I needed to get it out as soon as I could. based on a bunch of conversations with one piece fans about what would happen in the event of pot brownies.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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